Thursday, March 27, 2014

Five Observations About the New 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Trailer

As was probably the case with many of you today, my social media feeds were inundated with commentary on the newly released trailer for the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film ... most of which has skewed toward the "Michael Bay ruins everything" side of things. To be fair, a lot of those gripes are justified, as just about everything about the trailer — including Megan Fox as the film's resident pouty-lipped and flabbergasted female — leads me to believe that this will be closer to Transformers than The Avengers in terms of faithful cinematic adaptations.

That being said, it's not all bad, necessarily. Here are five things I took away from my first few viewings of the trailer.
  1. The turtles themselves are huge, which complicates the whole "ninja" part of the franchise. There's no way these massive, muscled reptiles are sneaking anywhere covertly when they're making loud thud noises whenever they jump around. In WWE parlance, they should probably be more Daniel Bryan than Brock Lesnar.
  2. There's nothing necessarily wrong with the actual animation of the turtles themselves, but I think giving the guys lips and noses injects the film with a whole lot of unnecessary nightmare fuel. I'd rather the special effects team created digital versions of the Jim Henson-designed suits worn for the 1990 film, or at least used those as a template.
  3. Although it's popular to bash Megan Fox on the internet these days, there's nothing overwhelmingly egregious about her performance as April O'Neil in this trailer. That hasn't stopped people from tweeting their outrage about her, but I guess haters gonna hate.
  4. Shredder should technically be played by a Japanese actor if we're going to adhere to the original comics and cartoon series, but I'm genuinely curious to see what William Fichtner does with the role. Also, based on what we've seen in the trailer, filmmakers nailed the Shredder suit. 
  5. Chemically-altered turtle shells apparently make pretty good snowboards. Cowabunga and such.
Check out the trailer below. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits screens August 8.

Latest 'X-Men: Days of Future Past' Trailer Delivers Sentinels, More Jennifer Lawrence

I don't want to get my hopes up too high for the latest installment in Fox's X-Men franchise, but ... damn. This trailer packs some Colossus-worthy punch.

Also, in case you weren't feeling old at this particular point in time, I'd like to point out that Bryan Singer's original X-Men was released nearly 14 years ago. Let that sink in, bub.

X-Men: Days of Future Past hits theaters May 23.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

New Lego 'Simpsons' Minifigures Are Perfectly Cromulent Toys

I love Lego. I love The Simpsons. I'm also quite fond of blind-bagged collectibles. Naturally, when I learned that Lego would be releasing 16 blind-bagged Simpsons minifigures, I impulsively threw wads of money at my computer screen. It wasn't a pretty sight.

The figures will be released on May 1, coinciding with a Lego-ized Simpsons episode airing May 4, reports. The mystery toys will  retail for $3.99, so if the price point of that $200 Simpsons house scared you off earlier this year, these figures are much less of a hit on your wallet. That being said, there's no way I don't set out to own every single one of these. Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ant-Man's Movie Look Revealed!

Tying into Tuesday night’s Assembling a Universe special on ABC, Marvel Studios has unleashed a slew of preview images from “Phase 2” of its Cinematic Universe, including early glimpses at Ant-Man from his forthcoming film debut along with concept art of the film versions of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch from Avengers: Age of Ultron. And you thought you were geeking out before.

Harness the power of Mjolnir (or, barring that, your index finger) and browse all of the artwork at

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

International 'Godzilla' Trailer is Monstrously Good

I want this. All of it.

Godzilla hits U.S. theaters May 16.

‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Begins Principal Photography in May!

Disney and Lucasfilm have confirmed that the latest installment of the Star Wars saga will begin principal photography in May at London’s Pinewood Studios. Additionally, the studio has revealed that Episode VII will take place 30 years after Return of the Jedi, which is actually pretty on-point given that Jedi was released 31 years ago.

As Star Wars geeks brace for excitement (and the omnipresent threat of extreme disappointment), I’m curious as to how social media will play into the production. Will the @StarWars Twitter account give us some reasonable access behind-the-scenes from the set, or will we remain mostly in the dark as was the case with the prequels?

Star Wars: Episode VII hits theaters Dec. 18, 2015.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Captain America to Battle Superman in 2016

In a bizarre game of box-office chicken, Marvel’s third Captain America film will go head-to-head with DC’s Batman vs. Superman flick on May 6, 2016, when both films will hit theaters simultaneously.

I don’t want to sound like a banner-waving Marvelite or anything — I actually quite enjoyed Man of Steel — but there’s no way this works out well for Warner Bros., which is banking heavily on the forthcoming Zack Snyder film that will expand its cinematic mythos to showcase other members of the Justice League aside from The Caped Crusader and The Last Son of Krypton.  If the Man of Steel sequel underperforms against the juggernaut that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we’ll probably never get to see that live-action Aquaman flick that millions dozens of comic book readers have been waiting for.

According to the Epoch Times, Warner Bros. is feeling the pressure to move its release date to avoid getting slammed by Cap’s star-spangled shield, but nothing has been confirmed by the studio. For the sake of DC’s future at the movies, I hope it’s true.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

From The Nerd Cave: March 6, 2014

So is this blog weekly now? It’s certainly starting to look that way. I honestly meant to post an update days ago, but then South Park: The Stick of Truth happened and, well, you can piece the rest together yourself.

By the way, it’s worth pointing out that The Stick of Truth — developed by Obsidian Studios in collaboration with South Park Digital Studios — is one of those rare licensed video games that’s simultaneously faithful to the source material and wholly engaging as a stand-alone piece of entertainment. South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker were hands-on during the game’s production, and it shows throughout the crude, disgusting and oddly charming experience. Whether you’re a casual fan or one of those kids who was rarely seen without a South Park shirt in the late 1990s (ahem), The Stick of Truth is a hilarious must-have.

Speaking of kick-ass licensed games, Game Informer gave us our first look at Batman: Arkham Knight, Rocksteady Studios’ latest installment in its critically acclaimed Arkham series. I’ve been holding off on fully embracing next-gen gaming consoles, but I think this was the push I needed. Because Batmobile, that’s why.

Check out the trailer below.